Leave Room for Regret

     Regret has a purpose and demands our attention. What have we learned, if we choose to ignore it?    

     A friend in one of my social media groups posed a what-if question. It said, "Given the choice, I would (fill in the blank)." It is an interesting conversation starter. I glanced at the posted comments and the most recent one talked about not having regrets. I have often said that myself, "I have no regrets because I am happy how my life has turned out." While the latter is true on all accounts, I have to admit that first part is false, if I am completely honest. I “own” a major personal regret from when I was a young adult. I joined the Air Force at eighteen years old and was basically on my own. My support network of friends and family was not readily available. I believe that piece of information is relevant because now I know how important it is to have a sounding board. Who else can give you better advice than your mom or best friend? Later in life, when I was contemplating a bold move, I sought out my best friend’s advice. She advised me not to follow through with my plan and I conceded. Having regrets taught me a valuable life lesson, to seek out advice from those you trust and who have your best interest in mind. And most importantly, heed their advice! 

     I believe we all have regrets, but it is how we move forward that makes a difference. It is a learning opportunity, a chance for a "do-over," so to speak. I know a few lost souls (my interpretation of their current state of being) that live with regret every day. They are consumed by it. It is as if they are immobilized, unable to emotionally adjust and move past it. They carry this burdensome luggage through life as if their lives depend on it. I believe some people need this additional baggage of regret, like some sort of emotional addiction. If we can be addicted to alcohol, nicotine, prescription drugs, etcetera, we most certainly can be emotionally addicted to our life’s story. How many times have you heard someone say, “I am this way because of (fill in the blank).” They are quick to blame others for their perpetual downward spiral. 

     Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not saying I am perfect. I am far from it. I take steps backwards some days. We all do. But, I do not allow anything, or anyone, to monopolize my emotional well-being. I am sympathetic toward those who have been dealt a bad hand, physical and emotional abuse, poverty, systemic racism, victims of crime…the list of unspeakable atrocities go on and on. But, at some point, we all have to make a decision. Do we learn from our regrets, or do they become our life’s story?  

     To answer my friend’s question, given the choice, I would…leave room in my life for regrets.