Dreadful Four-Letter Word
I’d say I have a healthy amount of fear mixed in with a splash of irrational nonsense. I hate to admit it, but I require a bit of mental toughness to execute an attack on an unsuspecting spider. My mind frantically goes through all kinds of what-if scenarios before I’m able to strike. My heart beats wildly. I stare down the imposter without blinking, arms outstretched for the kill. For that thirty seconds, my world stops. The fear is real. It’s irrational, but real. After the deed is done, I feel relieved and a little triumphant. I did it. I overcame my fear. A few years back, my husband and I met some friends in Chicago. We decided to check out Willis Tower. We ascended to the 103rd floor, 1,353 feet to be exact, to experience the Skydeck. It’s an all-glass balcony that extends out four feet from the building with incredible views of the city. While we waited in line for our “opportunity” to stand on this amazing deck for a photo op, I’m reminded of the fragility of the human psyche. Much like my fear of spiders, I have an irrational fear of heights. Now, I’ve climbed to the top of Mt. Fuji in Toyko, Japan. I’m certainly not afraid to walk up a steep mountain for eight hours to experience the magnificence of the volcano crater. However, at no time during this trek was I ever dangling precariously on the edge of death. My feet were planted firmly on the rocky soil beneath me at more than 12,000 feet above ground. Decades later I stood patiently in line, waiting my turn to plant my feet firmly, but this time, on a glass deck. As it turned out, the best I could do was a low crawl from a crouched position. From there, I slid ever so gently onto the platform. I mustered up a fake smile for the camera and then got the hell off of there before the inevitable (so I thought) of plummeting to my death. Once again, I conquered my fear. 
Many of us wander through life afraid. Some of these fears are legit. Others are nothing more than spiders and glass platforms. We don’t take chances for fear of failure, or we simply just refuse to leave our comfort zone. I think of all the missed opportunities because of my own trepidation. All those would’ve, should’ve, could’ve moments are long gone. One of my greatest fears now is I won’t have enough time, energy, or motivation to do everything I want to do while I’m still able. Like you, the pandemic has put my life on hold. Sure, I can still go camping, go out to lunch, and sit on the back porch swing, but I have a bucket list burning a hole in my pocket!
I’m excited for the future. Fear, step aside. I’m moving forward.
Comments
Post a Comment